Assignment 1 (Self-Introduction Formal Letter)
Subject: Self Introduction
Dear Professor Blackstone,
My name is Javier, and i am writing to you to do a self introduction.
I graduated from Nanyang Polytechnic, with a diploma in Telematics and Media Technology. Currently I'm pursuing a degree in Telematics (Intelligence Transportation System Engineering) in the Singapore Institute of Technology.
Singapore, once a sleepy fishing village has grown beyond what we could have imagine, emerging as a innovative technology hub with a growing market that many wishes to tap into. In hope of catching up with the ever growing digital technology industries, i decided to further my studies in Telematics which is a combination of both engineering and computer science.
My strength in communication would be listening, I'm a good listener and i would put myself in the person's shoes and give my earnest opinions.
However, I am a introvert, at the end of the day i like to have my own time to collect my thoughts. My weakness will be my lack of self confidences. I seek perfection hence I'm constantly worry of making mistakes and making a fool out of myself. I'm more of a Chinese speaker and i communicate with my family and friends in Chinese on a daily basis and i do not like reading especially English books.
The goals i set for myself during this few months would be improving my articulation of English, speaking with more confidence, getting myself out of my comfort zone and not be afraid of learning from mistakes.
Through this communication module, i seek to improve my character. I know i will not speak like a professional in just a mere few months but i wish to embrace the stuffs i have been taught and see a better new improve me. I'm looking forward to your guidance!
Yours sincerely,
Javier Ng
Hello Javier. i enjoyed reading your self introduction!
ReplyDeleteI like how you mentioned Singapore as a sleepy fishing village that has grown to what it is today. We should all strife to be like Singapore in the sense where we grow and improve ourselves.
I have learn a lot about you reading your self introduction but i would love to find out more about your strengths as it is a very short paragraph.
I'm excited to be able to work with you as my module partner. Good job!
strive
DeleteHi Ching Wei,
DeleteThanks for the positive feedback!
Cheers,
Javier
Dear Javier,
ReplyDeleteI have enjoyed your formal letter of self-introduction. The usage of language on the 2nd paragraph helps to indicate well why you would like to pursue telematics as a degree course. The letter also helps us to understand you better as you spoke about your personal experience, what are your good and bad points with vivid evident.
Overall your letter is enjoyable and it is positive in the aspect of looking forward to the future and the chances it could bring as we all improve our communication skills.
Best Regards,
Roy Yong
Hi Roy,
DeleteThanks for the positive feedback!
Cheers,
Javier
Dear Javier,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this interesting and fairly complete self introduction. You've followed the model presented in class quite closely and produced a letter that addresses each topic requirement, though with only slim detail. I do appreciate the info about your strengths and weaknesses in communication. In that regard, it's good to know, for instance, that you view yourself as more listener than speaker and an introvert. You also clearly state four goals for the module, but one you have not mentioned is improving your writing. I'd like to address that first, so I ask you to review these points:
1. punctuation
-- Singapore, once a sleepy fishing village has grown > (missing comma)
-- my studies in Telematics which is a combination of both engineering and computer science. >
(missing comma)
-- My strength in communication would be listening, I'm a good listener >
-- However, I am a introvert, at the end of the day i like
-- I seek perfection hence I'm
X. comma splice: you must see https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/general_writing/punctuation/independent_and_dependent_clauses/runonsentences.html
2. use of capitalization
-- and i am writing > ?
-- i decided to further
-- and i would put
-- with a diploma in Telematics and Media Technology.
-- a degree in Telematics
-- at the end of the day i like
-- and i do not like reading especially English books.
X. please see https://www.grammarbook.com/punctuation/capital.asp
3. verb use
-- what we could have imagine > (wrong form)
-- many wishes > (subject-verb disagreement)
-- and not be afraid of learning from mistakes. > (lack of parallel verb structure)
4. word form
-- see a better new improve me. > (wrong word form)
Let's work on all the points you've suggested, step by step.
Cheers,
Brad
Dear Javier,
ReplyDeleteI love your self introduction. Its nice how you describe Singapore so vividly. I hope you will reach your goals by the end of the course. Overall, your letter is a joy to read but I would love to read more of your strengths!
Best regards
Nicholas
Hi Nicholas,
DeleteThanks for the positive feedback!
Cheers,
Javier